He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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