Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i will never coherently bang her
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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