I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
