does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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