If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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