Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
