Don't make out with my wife yet
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
