Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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