He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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