I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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