I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
