He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
