his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I could make wine with my vomit
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
