i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
