it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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