did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
