At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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