You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
