Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
