I love black thongs
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
only if we run a train.
done.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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