If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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