Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
