i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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