the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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