I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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