Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
