Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
