That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
