and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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