My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
