Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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