I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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