well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
