32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
