i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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