I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
