I want to have your abortion
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
