Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
