note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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