When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
