We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
