There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can I color on your dick again?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
