Jerry, you need to find god
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
