Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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