I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
