i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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