Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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