Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
