Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
