So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
