I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
