he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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